Saturday, February 26, 2005

Cigarette break

Saturday morning. Have been awake since 8 this morning! Deadline is Monday! Obviously did not go out last night, and am not going out tonight or tomorrow! So much for TGFTW (Thank God For The Weekend!)

Blah!

Have been working on Project 1 following a series of unpredictable setbacks all morning and have decided to take a cigarette break (finally!) Since there is way too much caffeine in my system, it is impossible for me to revert from multi-tasking and do one thing at a time i.e. sit and relax for five minutes. Therefore decided that best way to use time while smoking is to post on my blog - something which I haven't managed to do in a while!

I wanted to thank those of you who have emailed / called with words of support and encouragement! Thanks L, J (aka JackieChan), E, Joseph, etc.

I should write back shortly, possibly tomorrow or Monday depending on the exigencies of this insatiably demanding Project 1. Fortunately next weekend L, E and myself are spending a glorious girl's nite in Gozo, where we plan to do nothing but get pampered and have fun! So at least that's something nice to look forward to!

Have a great weekend!

Must get back to work! Work. work. work.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Naaaaaaah!

Bloody hell!

Bloody Monday!

Project 1 has taken up most of my time. Actually it has practically taken over my life in manner of weird slimey outer-space parasite! In addition, people who are supposed to help have (just for the sake of shits and giggles, apparently!) become insurmountable obstacles. Which is why my posts have been so scarce. Bloody typical! Imma x’taghmel? Am getting a little bit annoyed at the way in which life is getting in the bloody way of MY plans to take over the universe!

For some unknown reason (let's not even try to figure this one out!) this reminds me of a John Lennon quote which was on a billboard in the film Kuffs, one of my favourites during my Christian Slater era, which was obviously before he earned a reputation for being a stripper-loving gambling-drinker). God, that was complicated! Anyway the quote was:

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

Hmmm… am taking a moment to search for spiritual enlightenment.

Have returned to senses (tee heeee!) from philosophical break…

Minutes spent pondering ‘life’ quote: 17

Minutes spent pondering point of self’s life: 23

Iota of spiritual enlightenment found: 0

All together now: Naaaaaah!

Am feeling totally... Totally… There are no words. No words. Nothing!

Am in one of those moods where I just know that it is useless to even think about trying not to moan. Perhaps should go to a health farm for a week or a month or something… like Ben Affleck (although obviously NOT because I am a Hollywood A-list actor with ‘issues’).

Hmmm perhaps will go to a health farm, find God and accidentally bump into some Greek-godlike billionaire actor who’ll cart me off to some quiet idyllic island, where…. (obviously is no need to go on. Have never written smut and do not need to walk down that road exactly right now! Am already down in the dumps… better not take my writing into the sewer, or at this point might really run off to a non-extradition country!)

I mean, surely it’s alright to fantasise about such things! It’s only momentary psychological escapism . V healthy actually! At 26??? Is this healthy at 26? Don’t know, really – think is better not to know than to find out and be carted off to the funny farm (as opposed to v exclusive, chic health farm. Hmm… image of health farm now getting alarmingly more elaborate!)

Need a distraction from all this nonsensical complication. Ok. Let me check my inbox. Perhaps have received email from said godlike actor…

Total bummer! No email from godlike actor. (Surprise, surprise! Tsk!) Desperate attempt to reconnect to reality has miserably failed (again!)

Have just re-read above post and am laughing. I managed to make myself laugh! And as a consequence am feeling better. Perhaps due to the endorphin thingies which kick into your system when you laugh as a natural anti-depressant! Or perhaps because even when I lose my patience, thankfully I still don’t lose my sense of humour! Or perhaps because this blog is really a thin disguise for narrative therapy!

Am going to return to tackle bloody Project 1 with renewed vigour and determination and am also probably going to steam roll over people-cum-insurmountable-obstacles! Have a great week! (I will keep you posted about mine!)