Pics of the latest business trip

Too tired to do much of anything.

Too restless to go to bed at 11 pm on the eve of a public holiday.

Plus keep dreaming about being stuck in prison, while my 'negoitator' (whose side is he on???) tries to convince my would-be captors that I'm worth a heck of a lot less than 30 goats, one milking cow and a camel (the latter thrown in, just for shits and giggles, as it were...) Weird, I know!

Welcome to the world of jetlag. I am your host here!

Decided to post some pics here about my most recent trip to the Med.

Several flight delays, crossed connections and turbulence and I arrived at destination 1. Work took me to a lush gala night atop a pontoon - see pic. (No need for jokes, here... I didn't trip over in my heels and go splash into the water... well, only because a good-looking fellow business-tripper was there to catch me in time... French guys are such gentlemen!) I could soooo live this life!











Work appointments at destination 2 were busy and hectic, (but thankfully very fruitful... as opposed to fruity) so decided to haunt a very VERY Zen bar (pic above), which was totally fabulous and served my very favourite Mojitos!!! The haunt was so zen that just the thought of it... makes my eyes turn misty blue? Nah, but it does make me want to read Siddharta all over again, and Zen and the Art of motorcycle maintenace...

Finally, I managed to find the time to relax a little by the pool; which was a v good idea! And yes... those are my pedicured toes at the bottom of the pic, he he he! Just in case you were wondering...

And still not willing to go to sleep, I now realise that am just in time for SATC (Sex and the City for the unitiated few who must've been located somewhere on planet Zonk without satellite TV for the past few years!)

Then will go get ready for the next business trip... I take off in a few days again!

Where Am I Now?

Those of you who have been regular readers of MaltaToday since it's inception, might recall a very entertaining column entitled 'Where are they now?' Tongue lodged firmly in cheek, I am posting what is possibly the first auto-biographical sarcastic interview... EVER. (Drum rolls please!) This post is dedicated to said column and its author. By the way, does anyone know why they stopped running the column???

Name: Nina78
No, we meant actual name: You wish! Prefer to hide under safe womb-like protection duvet of nome de plume. Also, cannot possibly handle chance of some people taking a contract out on my head.

Gender: Female, duh! (just take a look at the staggering amount of shoes, accessories, bags and clothes in subject's possession.)

Age: It's NOT appropriate to ask a lady that!
Age: Ask nicely.
Age, pretty please: 27. I know I don't look it (or act like it!) but it's true.

Last time you checked the meaning of modesty in the dictionary: Oh shut up! I.AM.NOT.TALKING.TO.YOU.

Most remarkable features: Wit, sense of humour and hearing voices of my head.

Were you paying attention to the previous question?

Favourite action hero: Batman.

Mission in life: World domination.

Appearance: Stylish and high-maintenance. Slightly hungover, but ONLY this morning!

Will never: Eat at fast-food chains.

Who's coming over for supper tonight: Supper, do I look like I have time for supper? Or the will to eat?

Where am I now?
Temporal-spatial dimension of self, currently unknown. Have been globe-trotting in manner of jet setting mogul (only NOT in first class!) for work-related purposes. Am jet-lagged and pathetically trying to catch up with humungous list of things-to-do. (Listing obsession reaching dramatic proportions now.) Too busy to bother with mess-state of self's life (which perhaps is a very good thing.) Also due to all this travelling have felt incontrollable urge to spend at airports and have also managed to squeeze in some frantic shopping under the buy-all-you-can-due-to-little-time-for-shopping-while-on-business-trip syndrome. As a result, ams now scared of checking bank balance as self's MasterCard is still hot from usage at various EPOS machines across Europe. Financial doom imminent. Possibly self is also still too drunk from last night to know / care about location! Gaah!

(Sound of head throbbing. Padumph. Padumph. Pa-da-dum. DUM.)

Where are you going?
Do I look like I know? Seriously! Do you mean where are you going, as in what are you planning to do with your life? That's a good question. One which requires serious reflection - perhaps I can jot down some ideas while I'm travelling on a plane (unless I have to catch up on work or something!)

No. What location will you be visiting next?
Oh, that!

(Sigh of total and utter boredom escapes self's lips.)

So?
Oh right. You're expecting a sensible answer.

(Sound of torch-light going on and rummaging of self searching for sense and its defunct cousin: sensible answer, in bottomless pit of new tote.)

Am attending a conference somewhere in the Med.

Sigh. (In resignation.)

New outlook on life (sic!)

Yes, well as you can see I have changed (rather drastically - but that's me!) my blog template, as well as a number of other things in life.

Read: A change will do you good! (cf: Cheryl Crow)

Hmmm... Not so sure about the 'doing me good' bit about change. But at least it's something, no?

Am trying to make sense of a number of nonsensical happennings that have been going on at this end of the keyboard, but to no avail. (sic! what else is new?) In an attempt to clarify intense confusion that has gripped self, i have come up with the list below. (Tsk!)

Some background here: I believe that when being in the eye of a hurricane-from-hell type storm it is always best to stay very still and do nothing. Do nothing, but think and rationalise your way out of the hurricane. And we all know that the best way to clarify your thoughts are via lists. (Says who? Dunno. Just go with it. Pleeeease!) This is, I believe, what people do when in the jungle / forest they chance upon a lion / bear. The notion is clearly to pretend that nothing is out of the ordinary, thereby fooling the wild beast (with big,BIG teeth nestled in a very,VERY strong jaw) into believing that there is need to attack. Meanwhile, the beast will just wander off back to its den allowing you to escape slowly, and without making any sudden movements.

Disclaimer: This theory has not as yet been scientifically proven and the author will take no responsibility for the consequences of following the 'plan' above.

Note: If you are reading this and considering taking the author's advice, kindly seek medical attention, or even better check yourself into the funny farm. The author and her 'advice' are never, EVER to be listened to. Failure to heed this note may (and let's face it, probably will) get you in no-end of trouble!

Back to MY list...

List has been complied with same attitude used by The Bride's in Kill Bill. (Note, I said attitude, as in: I am not determined to hack people but just to get to grips with certain 'issues'. Now, if only i could swathe a Hattori Hanzo blade like that... suspect that earth would be a much better place!) Humph!

Well, here goes...

List of things that are REALLY starting to bug me:
(not in order of aggravation or priority!)

1. Situation with BIG - impossible to explain due to flippant, fickle nature of situation itself.
2. Maybe even BIG (?) - which perhaps would be a good thing in manner of a sign that self is over it and has moved on. Hmmm. Perhaps this should be stricken from the list. But now that i typed it out and all... Naaaahhhh!
3. Other people's fuck-ups affecting self's life - hmmmm better not dwell too much on this. too aggravating.
4. Self's lack of commitment to self's self-imposed goals - also better not to dwell too much on this. too depressing.
5. Failure of self to fix things - should go to some cosmic DIY lessons.
6. Failure of Zen Master to fix things - cosmic DIY lessons to be taken from someone other than the Zen Master, perhaps. (However am aware that it is ALL MY FAULT. Despite my best efforts!)
7. Self's compulsive obsession to list things - this is getting really baaaaaaadddd now!

Any advice anyone, seriously.

Better specify here. Any GOOD advice, anyone.

Seriously!