Emergency

I have recently been writing poetry with more frequency and intensity. I have dabbled with free verse for a number of years, much like a blind man would dabble with oils on canvas. But following my haiku stint, which is still going strong, i have taken up free verse with some more vigour.

Today, I am in a very weird, almost perturbed mood, and I wrote this:


Emergency

In solitude,
I need
the edge,
wild and dangerous,
and alive.

A life
of trysts
and
adventures
haunts my dreams
in wake
and
sleep.

Clutching
at my desk,
to survive
the mundane
trying to be
calm.

Useless bloody mantras.

Feigning
calm,
contained
anger
bubbles and boils
and
boils bubbles
in the ulcer-pierced
cauldron
of my
stomach.

I want out!

‘Excuse me, sir.
Which way’s the exit?
Tell me, please,
please
tell me
now.

This is an emergency!’



Fortunately I am meeting a friend for coffee, so that should sort out the sullen mood!

Gozo weekend break… finally!

This weekend was a total blast! Went to Gozo with Lars and Er. Woke up at bloody 7 am on a Saturday to catch the 9 am ferry (‘to make the best of it!’ as Lars in her “infinite wisdom”, put it…) but it was totally worth it!

Spent the weekend mostly reading, listening to Asian fusion tunes, partying and relaxing in the triple room of a 4-star hotel in Marsalforn. We also managed to get some exercise done as we went swimming (obviously in the hotel’s indoor pool, which wasn’t half as warm as I was hoping…) Saturday evening, after going for a pizza in Xlendi, the girls and I went to this club called XS where DJs Pierre Cordina and Carlo Borg Bonaci were mixing the decks, and we had a good, albeit somewhat baffling time! A couple of Gozitan specimen of the male sex tried to pick us up – as we gathered, after much mindboggling linguistic deconstruction, as we couldn’t understand what they were saying… They have a v strong accent there… ho hmmm.

We spent lots of time driving round Malta’s sister island, which is untainted by excessive over-urbanisation, traffic hell, etc. We managed to get lost a couple of times along our ‘road trip’ (I know it’s probably impossible for anyone to get lost in Gozo… it’s so small…)

Sunday we went to Dwejra for ice-cream, and started making our way to the Mgarr Harbour. When Er pulled the pre-paid return tickets our of my car's glovecompartment, we discovered that the liquid air freshener, which I had detached from the car fan (due to Er's asthma) had leaked all over the tickets! Gaaah! Fortunately the barcodes were still legible and after some explaining to the booth attendant and lots of embarrassed / hysterical giggling we managed to get through! By the time we got back home on Sunday afternoon, we were too tired to do much of anything!

I soooo needed a break… But it’s Monday again… Oh well!

Making deadlines!

Firstly: Ooops sorry...was meant to post yesterday, but I got caught up with one of my other projects and was totally wiped out with the reilief that... (Drum roll please!)

Yesss... yesss... yesss! I met the deadline - project 1 part 1 on time!

AND am quite satisfied with the outcome, if I dare say so myself (and I do!) Am I good or am I good? (No, it't NOT a typo - it's a trick question! He he! Gotcha!)

So yes... I'm estatic, la vie - ah! c'est marveillieuse!

Am regaining control of my life again! Tonight am going out to celebrate with JackieChan (NOT the moviestar BUT one of my best friends EVER), who also has some great work-releated news to celebrate!

And talking about celebrating, Lars and Er have already warned me to prepare for a weekend of total pampering and bliss in Gozo! Aaaah! Probably all three of us (although obviously NOT together!) will get back massages by some Norwegian deity-lookalike massus, possibly called Hans, with piercing blue eyes and blond hair, and bulging biceps...

Hmmm... will take a moment (or two... or possibly longer.... ho hum) to visualise said image...

Right... am back!

As I was saying, Lars, Er and I are going to spend the weekend getting facials, and being fabulous and elegant and blissful at the spa of a super sleek hotel in Gozo. Much in the manner of a diva, recouping from post-Oscar celebrations. Only none of us are divas (...yet! Although we sometimes behave as though we are!) And our invites to the Oscars and post-Oscar bashes have been, erm... lost in the mail, shall we say?

In addition, yesterday I had some major writing breakthroughs, which I hope to polish (possilbly this weekend at the spa!) and post... so all you smart dolls and guys out there can let me know what you think!

Cigarette break

Saturday morning. Have been awake since 8 this morning! Deadline is Monday! Obviously did not go out last night, and am not going out tonight or tomorrow! So much for TGFTW (Thank God For The Weekend!)

Blah!

Have been working on Project 1 following a series of unpredictable setbacks all morning and have decided to take a cigarette break (finally!) Since there is way too much caffeine in my system, it is impossible for me to revert from multi-tasking and do one thing at a time i.e. sit and relax for five minutes. Therefore decided that best way to use time while smoking is to post on my blog - something which I haven't managed to do in a while!

I wanted to thank those of you who have emailed / called with words of support and encouragement! Thanks L, J (aka JackieChan), E, Joseph, etc.

I should write back shortly, possibly tomorrow or Monday depending on the exigencies of this insatiably demanding Project 1. Fortunately next weekend L, E and myself are spending a glorious girl's nite in Gozo, where we plan to do nothing but get pampered and have fun! So at least that's something nice to look forward to!

Have a great weekend!

Must get back to work! Work. work. work.

Naaaaaaah!

Bloody hell!

Bloody Monday!

Project 1 has taken up most of my time. Actually it has practically taken over my life in manner of weird slimey outer-space parasite! In addition, people who are supposed to help have (just for the sake of shits and giggles, apparently!) become insurmountable obstacles. Which is why my posts have been so scarce. Bloody typical! Imma x’taghmel? Am getting a little bit annoyed at the way in which life is getting in the bloody way of MY plans to take over the universe!

For some unknown reason (let's not even try to figure this one out!) this reminds me of a John Lennon quote which was on a billboard in the film Kuffs, one of my favourites during my Christian Slater era, which was obviously before he earned a reputation for being a stripper-loving gambling-drinker). God, that was complicated! Anyway the quote was:

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

Hmmm… am taking a moment to search for spiritual enlightenment.

Have returned to senses (tee heeee!) from philosophical break…

Minutes spent pondering ‘life’ quote: 17

Minutes spent pondering point of self’s life: 23

Iota of spiritual enlightenment found: 0

All together now: Naaaaaah!

Am feeling totally... Totally… There are no words. No words. Nothing!

Am in one of those moods where I just know that it is useless to even think about trying not to moan. Perhaps should go to a health farm for a week or a month or something… like Ben Affleck (although obviously NOT because I am a Hollywood A-list actor with ‘issues’).

Hmmm perhaps will go to a health farm, find God and accidentally bump into some Greek-godlike billionaire actor who’ll cart me off to some quiet idyllic island, where…. (obviously is no need to go on. Have never written smut and do not need to walk down that road exactly right now! Am already down in the dumps… better not take my writing into the sewer, or at this point might really run off to a non-extradition country!)

I mean, surely it’s alright to fantasise about such things! It’s only momentary psychological escapism . V healthy actually! At 26??? Is this healthy at 26? Don’t know, really – think is better not to know than to find out and be carted off to the funny farm (as opposed to v exclusive, chic health farm. Hmm… image of health farm now getting alarmingly more elaborate!)

Need a distraction from all this nonsensical complication. Ok. Let me check my inbox. Perhaps have received email from said godlike actor…

Total bummer! No email from godlike actor. (Surprise, surprise! Tsk!) Desperate attempt to reconnect to reality has miserably failed (again!)

Have just re-read above post and am laughing. I managed to make myself laugh! And as a consequence am feeling better. Perhaps due to the endorphin thingies which kick into your system when you laugh as a natural anti-depressant! Or perhaps because even when I lose my patience, thankfully I still don’t lose my sense of humour! Or perhaps because this blog is really a thin disguise for narrative therapy!

Am going to return to tackle bloody Project 1 with renewed vigour and determination and am also probably going to steam roll over people-cum-insurmountable-obstacles! Have a great week! (I will keep you posted about mine!)

Weatherwise

The word 'weatherwise' reminds me of Frank (Sinatra) singing Fly With Me, where he sings:

Weatherwise it’s such a lovely day
You just say the words
And we’ll beat the birds
Down to Aacapulco bay
It’s perfect, for a flying honeymoon - they say
Come fly with me
We’ll fly we’ll fly away

... I'm going to make an effort to stop typing there. Yes - I have been typing the words to the swing tune from memory. I guess it's just one of those songs

Michael Buble who is reviving swing in mainstream pop culture also does a pretty good rendition of the song. Finally perhaps swing is back! I don't quite know why (as in the reason escapes me, but then again it might also be a case of all reason in generally escaping me..) but I always had a penchant for the 30s, and 40s. Perhaps it is the clothes. Or the excitement of novelty, which my generation might very well have lost for good. We have seen everything. Done everything. and then some. But nothing is new. As they say in the U.S. of A. 'been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt.'

There are some things (quite a few really!) which I will admittedly never understand. Like, when all likelihood is that it will turn out to be a sensibly nice winter day, and therefore I wear my new tweed skirt with black tights. Then badabingbadaboom it starts pissing rain, hailing and blowing up gusts of wind that threaten to turn me into Mary Poppins (Ms Practically Perfect in Every Way) if I open my umbrella outdoors. Boqq! Somethings are just beyond my grasp.

Now I am a winter lover! Always have been, always will be. Unashamedly I despise the splintering summer sun and long for the windy winter weather. BUT (and there is always a ‘but’, other than the one we sit on, of course, which incidentally is spelt with a double ‘t’ at the end, ‘thus butt’ – but I digress…)

Where was I? Yes… But Mr Weather Man could at least kindly make up his mind about what it’s going to be. It is very difficult to colour and texture co-ordinate you look in tune with the cold weather, only to find out that contrary to all blithering expectations (and possibly – although not sure about this, but anyway- NASA satellite imaging system thingies) it’s going to be colder than cold! And trust me, it is no joke wearing skirts in winter, ‘gorgeous A-line tweed skirt, with cross hatch detail and a frayed hem for that little touch of bohemia’ or not! Tights or not! But the skirt is fantastic...

Which reminds… this sales season was not so hot for me (not just weatherwise I mean!) Apart from a ‘few’ (ho... hum..) key fashion items, this season hasn’t offered much. I know that I am an exigent shopper. And alas, I operate under a form of budget (word to be used and understood loosely...) Flexible as it may be, but a budget nonetheless.

Now, can someone please explain to me what on earth shop owners and managers (managers for the love of style!) are doing setting up with the spring fashion when its so c-c-c-cold that my hands turn blue at the mere sight of a three-quarter sleeved shirt? Someone? Anyone?

I mean it’s too cold to want to try on lighter spring clothes. It’s almost unnaturally cold for a Maltese person – after all this winter has been the coldest in 19 or 14 years (depending which of the local newspapers you read!) Shoppers cannot possibly be expected to buy spring clothes while winter sales rage on! Can they? I mean at this rate these guys are going to be having their spring stock sale in under two months!

Have just re-read the post..... Hmmm.... this is v troublesome.... Can someone PLEASE explain to me how on earth I got from weatherwise, to Frank Sinatra to the sales and the weather? Arrghh! Head is spinning in attempt to backtrack through this logic here. Think I better go get some rest!

Mad sightings and Haiku

This weekend was a goodish one (v. conservative estimate). I got down to working on one of my projects, but as usual I overshot and am behind according to my overly ambitious plans!

On Saturday evening (which was part of Carnival weekend, let's not forget!) I went to The Alley in Paceville, where I saw six guys dressed as sperms – i.e. they were wearing long white socks on their heads, tight white t-shirts, and matching ski pants (eek!) and were buffered from the cold by pillows strapped to their torsos - front and rear. This presumably, to give them that tadpole shape.

Otherwise their outfits made no sense. Or have I misinterpreted this? Perhaps they were meant to be ghosts with weight issues? If this is the case, then a Freudian perspective of my interpretation of these weird costumes would be v. concerning. Fortunately I am not a Freudian. Hopefully, neither are you!

And, just in case you were wondering, I really did see them! As in I was NOT drunk. And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a dream / figment of my imagination / psychotic episode, or I’d be in serious need of therapy if my subconscious came up with that all on its own! But anyway the bouncers didn’t let them in.

Please note: For fear of making some unintended puns or being misinterpreted I will end my commentary regarding the issue right there. I am just sorry that I didn’t manage to snap a pic of these guys with my mobile phone!

On to more sane, less worrying thoughts… I sometimes wonder whether we bloggers ever meet by chance, without knowing it or meaning to. Perhaps a fellow blogger, whose blog I regularly visit is at the same bar as myself, dining at the same restaurant, enjoying cappuccino at the same café…. Which makes you wonder about serendipity Hmmm…

Anyway, this weekend I decided to try something new. And by that I don’t mean going to the Marsaxlokk market to see the folks there set up at 6 am! No, I tried my hand at Haiku, so here hos my first haiku:

i alone at sea -
the ghost of your reflection
still skimming the deep

and my second...

the soft old lady
sits still, waiting in the park
to fly like a bird

Have a great week!

No broken vases...

Just a quick note to tell you (just in case you were wondering) that no - nobody's broken any vases on my head (yet... BUT there's still time!) and that I'm STILL here. As in: No, I haven't made my way to a non-extradition country, Alaska or outerspace. he he!

Had a nice coffee with L yesterday after work at Cesar's, chatted a little, about men, and work, and life. And of course made plans for the weekend! yipee! TGIF!

And in totally unrelated news...

Earlier this week I was just checking my horoscope for tomorrow on ivillage.com This is something I do occasionally, just in case me and all the other people of my sign i.e. Scorpio (aka Beware) are destined to hit the lottery jackpot or receive a Ferrari or something of the sort. I'm not really into astrology, but hey there's no harm in checking! I mean - if i'm going to be saving the world tomorrow i should know, so i can keep my makeup bag handy, together with my black stilettos and sleek clutch bag, for when they interview me on Larry King. Or Xarabank. Or not.

Anyway, this is what my horoscope read:

Enough with the intrigue. It's time for openness -- and maybe a little shopping. Combine the two. Let someone know what you're up to, and then buy what you need.

Ok. So, NOW can you guess what I'm going to do?

Nah! Come on!

Ok... I'll tell you, but only because you asked so nicely! I'm going to log off the blog for today. Am clearly going to spend all night drawing up my wish list... Let's see where do I start...

Hang on there a second!

I know it's like a trick question... like the ones in Aesop's fables and the Grimms' fairytales which we were told when we were young. You rub the lamp and make three wishes and then... the sphynx / genie / whatever tricks you into wasting your wishes. Or even worse turns your wishes against you. Moral: be careful what you wish for, which reminds me of two utterly gripping short stories (slightly dark but still v good): The Bottle Imp and The Monkey's Paw. Moral: beware what you wish for... it just might come true!

Talking about reading, this weekend I hope to catch up with Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls!

The blogging movement

Today I’m in more of a philosophical, meditative mood than usual. Which is something at any rate. Perhaps it’s because I’m currently reading Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls. His seamless flow almost rambles subconsciously like a river going somewhere, somewhere but where? It just does something to me. I know it does.

I am having somewhat of a difficult day. More stressful really. But I can handle it (hopefully with out actually flying off the proverbial handle myself!) Deadline pushed forward here. Reschedule this and do that. And juggle-all-these­-fine-priceless one-of-a-kind- crystal-vases-without-breaking-anything.

Have not broken any crystal vases…yet. However, I sense the distinct possibility that someone might want to break one on my head pretty soon.

I was thinking (yes. Thinking. Enough of the jokes, now. I have a point to make. Teee! Heee!)

Alright, well if you’re going to be like that I won’t tell you anything. Anything.At.All. (Daqshekk. Nodding head haughtily.)

Well, I was thinking… there are all these blogs out there in the wilderness of cyberspace. Written by real people with real lives. Sitting behind their computers. Tapping away at their keyboards. All united by their blogger identities in an electronic symphony of bits, bites, downloads and emails.

It seems that blogging is being taken up quite well in Malta! I was recently emailing a guy I met via my blog about this and I thought to myself that there is this whole sub-culture of bloggers who put their lives online and read each other’s virtual words.

Then we comment. And receive emails – possibly from people who we don’t know in real life. People whose existence was previously completely unknown to us.

And yet we are all part of the same sphere in blogger terms. I mean there you are just posting your ramblings, rants, trials and tribulations online. Sending your words out like little exploration teams scouting out cyberworld… alone out into the universe. Then some come back to you as emails and posts.

And you think: This is just bloody marvellous! (Said in perfect British accent, intonation and all!)

Well, I think that I’ll be musing some more about the full anthropological and sociological aspects of ‘the blogging movement’ another time, as I have to meet a friend of mine for a coffee. Well, you know, we're just going to talk about guys. obviously.

What's your take about the blogging movement?

Told you there'd be changes!

This blog was formerly hosted at http://nina78.clarence.com

Please not that my new email is girlaboutlife@yahoo.com (like that I have lots more space to save your comments!)

More changes coming soon.

Keep on the lookout!

N
aka Nina78