Jeeves conveniently vanished while I was cooking, cleaning the kitchen, doing the laundry and putting on a load. Very suspicious behavior. Not very valet-like, at all. What was he up to all day? Entire point of having valet when self is left to do all this work, escapes self!
OMG. sudden realization dawning on self. Can almost hear staccato, tension-inducing music of Hitchcock film, or similar! Perhaps he is really a hit man sent by the mob on behalf of bank manager?
Voice of sanity: paranoid much?
Self: Oh just sod off!
Well, point was that Jeeves has gone AWOL. Guess he is not entirely to blame as living with self over past couple of months might be a teensy-bit demanding. Especially in relation to some of the hare-brained schemes that have attempted over past couple of months. Not to mention The Misguided Captain and Alpha Wannabe - such Daniel Cleavers, really!
Well, finally have flat to self and can do as please - which, frankly, I ALWAYS find a way to do. ALWAYS, as in Jeeves or no Jeeves. Hmmm, what is he up to? A tryst? An intrigue? An international diplomatic case of gargantuan proportions?
Voice of sanity: seriously, woman?
Self: Am determined to ignore you!
Oh well, while he's away, shall get down to some serious online shopping. Ha haaaa. Hope you didn't think I'd become mature and responsible and boring. No, no, no. That is not to be borne.
Voice of sanity: and you wonder why ghe bank manager has take a hit out on you? Shocking, isn't it?
Self: ignoring you!
Must keep moving towards dream-wardrobe full of clothes, bags and shoes, which will soon take over entire apartment, and will then have to buy floor beneath self's flat to live in. Which obviously will mean talking the bank people into giving my second loan the green light!
Loud slamming of door. It's not that Jeeves has returned. It's the door slamming behind voice of sanity as it just walks out.
Fantastic... Another successful instance of ignoring a problem to make it go away! Bloody brilliant!
Remember guys and gals, Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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